A beautiful girl named Leska

Leska, Leskita, Leskachan, you always knew all these names referred to you. When you were born, I was far away but suddenly during a summer vacation back at home, I saw you. A little dog with white hair, always happy and joyful. You had a problem with one of your back legs, and because of this, you would limp a little, but you never seemed to care, you were so fast to run, always. But it was not until later that I got used to see you everyday and really get to know you.

I know, after our mom died, your life, Sally's, Peki's and mine, changed completely. Do you remember that gloomy, dark day still? How everything can change so quick in just a second. I'm sorry Leskita, I never imagined we would live such a horrible nightmare in this lifetime. But it happened to us. It was true, that dark day really occurred and suddenly, there was nobody to really take care of you, of us. I don't know how you were able to survive during the time I was away. But I was so happy to see all of you when I returned back from school.

But your life didn't improve. You still lived the life of a 'dog', barred from entering the house when you wanted, seldom going anywhere and receiving very little affection from anyone. Perhaps your life was like that of Gregory's in Kafka's "Metamorphosis", yes, I am sure. Only when nobody was around, could I let you all in. And some sundays, you could enjoy a bath, do you remember this? It was only after our Sally left us, that you had a small chance to enjoy life like a happy family and for this I am so sorry. I cannot explain in detail why things were so difficult before, but I know you understand me. When Sally left, you were so sad inside, she was your only true friend for many years. Who would look after you? Who would hold you? Who would you cuddle with during the cold nights? Who would tell you it was time to sleep? Leskita, I know you worried about these, and then nothing else mattered. It didn't matter if somebody would scream at us anymore. You came inside the house since then.

Do you remember how you would escape and run so fast so nobody could catch you?
Do you remember the trip to Paracas and how the park rangers said we couldn't go inside the park because we had a dog? I thought to myself, this is ridiculous, with all the garbage some people throw there, you are concerned about my Leskita? With all the illegal fishing, you are concerned about a little dog? But I was not worried, shall they would have denied us the admission, I was prepared to go around, afterall, we had an all wheel drive car, remember? At the beach, you ran and made new friends. Do you remember the bird next to you? He was quiet, oh you were always so good to make new friends, weren't you? I still remember the sand and the wind on your hair; your footprints on the sandy beach and your smile, yes, I think you were smiling, weren't you?

Do you remember that big lump that grew under your belly? When the Easter holidays arrived and everybody was getting ready to go on a camping trip, I wanted to take you along. We had planned this together. Without you, I said, i would not go. At the end, you came too. Poor you, old little dog but it was more important to be together, don't you agree? And I can't believe some people could actually recommended we say goodbye to you. How insensitive and stupid humans can be. You were strong enough to survive the operation and I was so happy to see you again. Leskita, I know you lived because you loved us and by all means, wanted to be with us.

I remember how you always wanted to go out and walk around the block. You were so happy always, barked at everybody hello and goodbye. You were small but always so protective of us. You wore your small collection of clothing. There was your favorite, a pink and yellow fannel shirt with flowers, do you remember it Leskita? But I have always been so sorry that you didn't go out enough times. Sometimes I thought you lived for this.

When you got sick suddenly, I never had the chance to say goodbye to you. I was far away, but I heard your pain over the phone. And I was heartbroken. I cried, as I am crying now. I love you, I will never forget you. I'm so thankful that such a good dog came to me and filled my life with happiness. You always are inside my heart and will be so for the rest of my life. I remember that merry white dog with big eyes, barking at me, waiting for me to get home and playing in the couch. I remember her, small, caring and always smiling back. This was your gift of life; your small world was us. You always believed, you always cared that a hug could solve everything. My Leskita, I carry you within me, your spirit is with always with me. I will never ever forget you. No matter how many dogs may come to my life again, you will always be my dog. Do you know all this?

---